None of us saw this coming. It all seemed like something that was happening so far away, where we could have the emotional space to take a moment to feel sad for what was happening to people around the world, take a moment to romanticise the spirit of humanity looking at the Italians in their balconies. Heck, even take a moment to laugh at and forward memes.
But here we are now, in the midst of a lockdown, unsure how we got here in the first place.
Every day is a new emotion and new thought.
One day it’s the appreciation for slow living.
On another it’s extreme paranoia for our loved ones and ourselves. It’s the pain of what so many in the world are going through right now from medical staff to paramilitary to daily wage earners.
On another such day, it’s the guilt of what we’ve done to the planet and the wonder of seeing it heal magically in a matter of weeks.
And then there are days when the anxiety is real. It sits on top of your face and just refuses to leave you alone making your mind jump from thinking about the generation that’s getting swiped out in Italy to how the hell are you going to continue your business to exhaustion from home chores to showing up every day at home, to work from home to the overwhelming surge in social media consumption - sometimes going up to 9 hours a day! Everyone is suddenly a content creator. Everybody is battling their anxiety and trying to reach out and stay relevant.
I honestly have nothing poignant to conclude in this post apart from the fact that today happens to be the anxious sort of day for me.
None of us are alone in this. Some of us will shut down our businesses. Some of us will face extreme financial crunches. Some of us may lose loved ones. Some of us may push our plans to start a family. Some of us may cancel that wedding we’ve been dreaming of. Some of us may not be able to see the birth of a precious little niece or nephew. Some of us may not get to say our last goodbyes to loved ones lost.
Some of us may give up.
But in all of this, we’ll find a moment to connect with our feelings. Real, intense, hard and hidden for long. Let them surface. And let them be expressed. Reach out.
Hold another’s hand (metaphorically for now). And let someone hold yours.
Allow for grief, anger, frustration, joy, worry and love, to be carried collectively.
For when we see the light, it won’t see who we are. Just like this darkness, when the light comes, it’ll cast it’s warmth and glow on each one of us that chooses to embrace it.
Thank you to the ones who told me today, ‘Even if you don’t bounce back, don’t worry. We will be your trampoline.’